Queer Use of Same-Gender

photo grabbed from the blog source

My friend Jerry pointed me to an entry by Twisted Tomato which uses the term same-gender: A Bit Of Political Philosophy Of A Same-Gender Relationship. Jerry asked about the history of the term and why it is now used as a substitute to same-sex.

This is an example of terms created as a form of protest. The term “homosexual” became so loaded with biases and prejudices so advocates came up with a label-free phrase “same-sex”. However, same-sex was seen as an imposition by white, gay activists who alienated the gay, black communities.

Same gender loving, or SGL is a term coined for African American use by activist Cleo Manago, particularly in the African-American community. It emerged in the early 1990s and is often used by those who prefer to distance themselves from terms that they see as associated with "white-dominated" lesbian, gay, and bisexual communities. For the term discreet, they use down-low, for the term outed, they remained with OPEN.

Technically though, gender refers to culture-related roles of being male or female, while sex comprises the biological attributes of being man and woman.

Thus, there are relationships which are both same-sex and same-gender, such is the case of our blogger and his husband Doc M.

There are relationships which are same-sex but not same-gender because the partners play respective roles of being male and female. Ellen de G and Portia for example have a same-sex marriage (both of them have vaginas) but do not have a same-gender relationship because Ellen portrays a male role while Portia assumes the female attributes, as defined by culture.

There are also gay relationships which are same-gender but not same-sex. My friend Jimmy, one of the most complex individuals thrown to the cosmos is biologically a woman as he has a vagina. But since teenager, Jimmy opted to be a tomboy and assumed a male identity. Never call Jimmy by his real name Judith Ann or there will be blood. But Jimmy swings both ways and is now living-in with a discreet bi Joel, both of them play the male roles. So, they have a same-gender but not same-sex relationship.

Truth is, never allow words and terms to define your relationships. Define them according to your wishes, and if the world is confused, let the world invent new words to label them.