Of irresponsible sex and grammar

I love this exchange between a blogger and his reader about House Bill 5043.

Bryan Miseducated's logic is flawless, but his sentence construction needs a bit of a makeover - maybe a few misplaced pronouns and missing punctuations.

Here's part of the post (the numbers and the red highlights are mine):

"While it’s unlikely that a horny daughter would bother mom about (1) her daytime itch let’s just say for the sake of argumentation that (2)my bitch of a daughter (3) comes to me and ask for a pill, I would hurriedly grab my D&G tote and the car key to visit the closest clinic and afterwards drive straight to a ravine… stupid momma, slut daughter, pill, dysfunction and all.

Come on, the case mentioned by Mr. Raymond has nothing to do (4) with lawmaking than it is an eventuality of failed parenting. You can’t say that Bill 5043 will turn daughters into whores. Hello…kitty! What our SECULAR government is (5) trying to do is address all options impartial to any moral paradigm.

P.S. (6) Last time I checked the Philippines is still a republic not a papal state."

1. It is as common as teenage pregnancy - the case of confusing pronouns. Whose daytime itch is referred to, the mother's or the daughter's?

2. Although it is understandable because the writing follows a style of free stream of thoughts, or commonly called as babbling, still the prose can still be improved by not shifting the point of view mid-sentence. It is better to divide it into two separate ideas:

It’s unlikely that a horny daughter would bother her mom about daytime itch. However, for the sake of argument, let's just say that if my bitch of a daughter comes to me and asks for a pill, I would hurriedly grab my D&G tote and the car key to visit the closest clinic, and afterwards drive straight to a ravine… stupid momma, slut daughter, pill, dysfunction, and all.

May I suggest that you leave the D&G behind?

3. Just like the Church, there is an inconsistency in the tenses of the verb: my daughter comes to me and ASKS...

4. The blogger was able to drive home the point that while Mr Raymund is a strong believer, he is a bad debater - his logic just went down the drain. But still, a good argument needs a good sentence construction.

"has nothing to do with lawmaking than WITH failed parenting.

Just a few minor things:

5. trying to do is TO address...

6. Last time I checked, the Philippines is still a republic not a papal state.

Maybe it is.