Emotionally Sloppy; Maybe

I love emoblogs, particularly emotionally sloppy. With raw emotions and rantings, they write as if they paint their minds on paper - a series of words with minimal punctuation. In literature, we often refer to this style as streams of thoughts, separated by commas and ellipsis with no purpose at all except to fulfill the urge to place punctuations.

Here is an entry:


"I accompanied my friend to the hospital days ago to have her baby checked..as we were waiting, for like ages for her number to be called I entertained myself at looking around the hospital.

Just beside the pedia clinic was an infertility clinic. And there in that place, couples who has problems having a baby merge with the couples that were happily cradling their baby. How ironic. I mean why place these two clinics beside each other? To let the infertile couple realize what they're missing and feel more miserable than it already is? To have the fertile couple flaunt their baby to the infertile couple? Oh well, maybe they have a medical reason behind that."

Grammar aside, her observation is valid, and true to her being an emo, sensitive to her environment. Let me just improve the construction and the punctuations, so that the non-emo readers can make sense of her post. I hope I won't undermine her emotions.

Days ago (it is more efficient to introduce a temporal phrase at the start of the sentence), I accompanied my friend to the hospital for her baby's check-up. While waiting for, like, ages for her number to be called, I entertained myself by looking around.

Right beside the pedia clinic is a fertility clinic. Thus, in the same place, couples who had problems with having a baby merge with couples who were happily cradling their babies. (not unless all those couples cradled only ONE baby).

How ironic! I mean, why place these two clinics beside each other? To let the infertile couples realize what they're missing and feel more miserable than they already do?( It is better to be consistent with the subject of the conversation, in this sentence,the childless couples) To have the fertile couple flaunt their baby to the infertile couple?

Oh well, maybe the hospital has a medical reason behind this."


Maybe.