Strong Biceps, Weak Sentence Construction

This is from outside lookin in .

The biceps look strong, but his sentence construction needs more exercises and some lifting. This entry is entitled The Secret Blog.



"I don't know... and these words are for the memories, fullness of my emotions and the disarming ways about you. The rest of this journal are nothing but fractions of how much I feel for you.

In case tomorrow the meaning of my promises are no longer the same; this blog will stand witness--that once a chance was given to the two of us... and everything I am was spent thinking, loving you.

God speed.

I am with you today as always even if the meaning of I love you tomorrow is not the same as today."


1. The ellipsis in the first sentence is out of place. Ellipsis (plural ellipses; from Greek ἔλλειψις "omission") indicates an intentional omission of a word or a phrase from the original text. An ellipsis can also be used to indicate a pause in speech, an unfinished thought or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis). Or maybe there is an omitted word, like SHIT (I don't know shit), in this case the ellipsis.... should remain.

2. Place a comma after emotions because it is part of a series: memories, fullness of my emotions, and the disarming ways about you.

3. The word tomorrow places the next sentence in the future tense, so it should be: "In case tomorrow the meaning of my promises WILL no longer BE the same, (comma not semi-colon)this blog will stand witness (again no need for ellipses) that once, a chance was given to us, and everything I am was spent thinking...loving you." There, just a few adjustments with the punctuations enhance the elegance of this brilliant composition.

4. The ending can stand on its own, even if it's a weak leg.

I love this blog because of the love messages. However, writing a love message requires careful construction, otherwise love might be lost in the midst of confusing punctuations.