The Affair of the Kho

Bloghopping for worthy Belo-Kho blog treatments, I stumbled upon living the expectations, and found it short of, well, my expectations -- grammar-wise, that is.

Here is his take on the scandal of the season:


"One of beautiful faces that catches my attention is Dr.Hayden Kho 27 years old,plastic surgeon and ramp model, is on the center of controversy due to his breakup with Dra.Vicky Belo a famous cosmetic surgeon here in the Philippines, its being rumoured that he had an affair with sexy star Katrina Halili that cause their break up.Hayden was first spotted at Celebrity Duets from a local tv channel.He begun his showbiz career after that.He graduated at Sto.Tomas University and became a licensed physician in the year 2007.What shocked me is the news that he allegedly committed suicide?Oh no Hayden, its so unexpected of you if that is true! "


It is called breathless blogging. Periods must be expensive in his part of the world. I also assume that his space bar needed some fixing. So, I decided to just put some full stops here and there, fix some syntax problems, force some spaces between words, and give the entry a full make-over ala Belo.

Here it is:

"A beautiful face that catches my attention is that of Dr. Hayden Kho. A 27-year old plastic surgeon and ramp model, he is now the center of controversy due to his breakup with his girlfriend Dr.Vicky Belo, a famous cosmetic surgeon here in the Philippines. It's being rumored that he had an affair with sexy star Katrina Halili; and this was the cause of the breakup.

Hayden was first spotted in Celebrity Duets, a local TV show. He began his showbiz career after that. He graduated at Sto.Tomas University and became a licensed physician in 2007.

What shocked me was the news that he allegedly attempted to commit suicide! Oh no Hayden, it's so unexpected of you if that is true! " (Of course dear it is not true. If that were true, then you would have written an obituary right now.)


Note:

1. To say that a person allegedly committed suicide assumes that this person is dead. The allegation refers to the cause and manner of death. Marky Cielo allegedly committed suicide. Dr. Kho is still alive (as far as I know); so any allegation should refer to his attempt to commit suicide.

2. I decided to plant the word girlfriend to define who Dr. Belo was to Dr. Kho's life. Otherwise, his readers might assume that the breakup was a professional cutting of ties.

3. Don't use a question mark after the sentence that began with "What shocked me is.." because it is a declarative sentence, not an inquiry.

Positivism it is!

bookmark this one...

POSITIVISM.PH

Think Before You Ink

From the grammarblog.com


What is the worst possible situation for a wrong spelling to happen?
Here:

Maybe body art shops should hire some copy editors before their artists start with those inks.

Merry Christmas

The world's oldest Christmas card.

If the shoes don't fit, throw them at Dubya

Trust Jessica Zafra to notice another grammatical hiccup by the US thanks-be-to-god-he-is-on-his-way-out President Bush.

___________________

Dec. 14 (Bloomberg) — President George W. Bush ducked two shoes thrown at him by a man during a press conference in the Iraqi prime minister’s office to mark the signing of a security agreement.
Bush wasn’t hit by the shoes, which both sailed over his head after they were thrown one after the other. The president shrugged and said “I’m OK” after the incident in Baghdad today. “All I can report is it is a size 10,” Bush said afterwards.
Dubya, you’re talking about two shoes, plural, so “All I can report is that the shoes are size 10″ or “…the pair is size 10.”
_________________

I think Dubya was referring to his brain. It is size 10.

My Most Favorite Editorial

Is There a Santa Claus?

From the Editorial Page of The New York Sun,written by Francis P. Church, September 21, 1897

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

"Dear Editor--I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, 'If you see it in The Sun, it's so.' Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?"
Virginia O'Hanlon115 West Ninety-fifth Street

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Grammar in the World of Fashion

photo grabbed from shadedviewonfashion.com



Exciting news abound in the fashion blog world. Perhaps because of the frenzy sashays and traveling, our bloggers forget their basic grammar.

1. from chuvaness.livejournal.com

Hong Kong ain't like Manila, where if a "minor" celebrity such as Alain Bourdain or Neil Gaiman happens to pass by we all go gaga and stalk their every move.

Chuvaness started well by being consistent in the use of the article a in "a minor celebrity", the conjunction "or", and the verb "happens" -all of these are in singular form. Then, her high heels slip a bit in using the plural THEIR, thus a mishap in the sentence occurs like a wardrobe malfunction.

2. from bryanboy

Everyone including their mother and their dogs are saying she's lost her mojo and she's now lurking in the shadows of her other contemporaries who are lapping up the spotlight but let me tell you, as much as I badly want American Vogue to offer a NEW point of view, Anna's done a damn great job over the years.

Everyone is a singular pronoun and maybe substituted by his/her/it. To use their as in "their mother and their dog" is like a fashion mismatch: they don't go well together. Well, let us not just discuss the errors in the punctuation and word usage right now.

3. from ashadedviewonfashion.com

Today is the last day of the shows. I found it very interesting how Malaysia is positioning themselves to be THE hub in showcasing Asian fashion.

Again, a common error is spotlighted here. Malaysia is a singular noun so the appropriate pronoun should be itself, rather than themselves.

Oh well, sometimes the glitters shine so brightly, people don't mind the grammars at all.

a word from the masters

Every once in a while, it is good for us to pay homage to true master wordsmiths. Here is one of my favorite poet-revolutionaries. We read, we savor, and then we learn.

Your Egypt Is No More

By Mila D. Aguilar

Here you are,
Bowing before the pyramid
When Egypt is no more.
How many decades
Will the genuflection last?
Egypt is now
A relic of the past.

And yet He said
To not God anything
But Him. Bud, what
Are you trying to save
Of Egypt then? The meme?
And where to take it?
On what wall to beam?

Your Egypt's nothing
But library now. Go,
Leave it. Let God move
With His own plan.
If it's another Pharoah,
So be it, fight on
With Heaven in your hand.

Oh For the Love of A Grammar, Use A Full Stop!

The sign says: Whose are these?

My libido was boiling with excitement. A bastard friend (dude, I'm going to destroy your tribe for doing this to me hehehe) asked me to initiate a hook-up with this blogger. Apparently, he is the superstar of a blog community because of his brilliant writing. It seems people there (in that community) are pushing this blogger to publish his journal entries. My friend said, "Rain, you would love this guy. He is so cute, good-looking, and a brilliant writer etc etc etc." So, just imagine my alcohol-induced horny self thinking of a new possibility! I opened his blog entry called random thoughts. I could not get past the second sentence. I passed out.

Here is a sample from Enzo_Patrick

Its been two weeks since I was able to update my so called official blog over the information superhighway. Just these weekend, I found myself strolling in the mall, alone, yes you heard me write, ALONE!

___________

1. I can overlook the lack of punctuations, even if the errors irritate my bowels. What makes someone so lazy that he can't spend a fraction of a second to put an apostrophe in It's and a hyphen in so-called. And yet, he placed a comma where it does not belong - between mall and alone. For me, a comma out of place feels like a wedgie in the butt.

2. I am willing to overlook errors in the use of pronouns. I realize that if I will make pronoun usage as basis for dating a guy, I will grow old a virgin. Just for the record, it should be THIS WEEKEND.

3. But careless word usage? That can't be forgiven. "You heard me write?" As opposed to what? You heard me rong? First of all, you avoid using the word heard when referring to a written word. People can't hear you; they read you. Second, oh for the love of a keyboard, get it RIGHT!

Also, the last person I know who used the term information highway was Princess Diana.

Queer Use of Same-Gender

photo grabbed from the blog source

My friend Jerry pointed me to an entry by Twisted Tomato which uses the term same-gender: A Bit Of Political Philosophy Of A Same-Gender Relationship. Jerry asked about the history of the term and why it is now used as a substitute to same-sex.

This is an example of terms created as a form of protest. The term “homosexual” became so loaded with biases and prejudices so advocates came up with a label-free phrase “same-sex”. However, same-sex was seen as an imposition by white, gay activists who alienated the gay, black communities.

Same gender loving, or SGL is a term coined for African American use by activist Cleo Manago, particularly in the African-American community. It emerged in the early 1990s and is often used by those who prefer to distance themselves from terms that they see as associated with "white-dominated" lesbian, gay, and bisexual communities. For the term discreet, they use down-low, for the term outed, they remained with OPEN.

Technically though, gender refers to culture-related roles of being male or female, while sex comprises the biological attributes of being man and woman.

Thus, there are relationships which are both same-sex and same-gender, such is the case of our blogger and his husband Doc M.

There are relationships which are same-sex but not same-gender because the partners play respective roles of being male and female. Ellen de G and Portia for example have a same-sex marriage (both of them have vaginas) but do not have a same-gender relationship because Ellen portrays a male role while Portia assumes the female attributes, as defined by culture.

There are also gay relationships which are same-gender but not same-sex. My friend Jimmy, one of the most complex individuals thrown to the cosmos is biologically a woman as he has a vagina. But since teenager, Jimmy opted to be a tomboy and assumed a male identity. Never call Jimmy by his real name Judith Ann or there will be blood. But Jimmy swings both ways and is now living-in with a discreet bi Joel, both of them play the male roles. So, they have a same-gender but not same-sex relationship.

Truth is, never allow words and terms to define your relationships. Define them according to your wishes, and if the world is confused, let the world invent new words to label them.

Ask Santa for World Peace and Better Sentences

I found this in The Artist Chef. The wistful writing is simple and deep. There are few missteps in the grammar though, thus I will blogpesticide this entry.



"This photo is another visual for me to reflect on and tell myself, after fall comes winter. Winter means Christmas. Do you believe in Santa Claus? Some of my birthday wishes did not come true or I doubt if it still will. Christmas is nearer than my birthday to perhaps make another set of wishes.

_____

1. Yes, I do believe in Santa Claus. If I have time, I hope to visit his workshop in the North Pole someday.

2. I also believe is not wise to use the word than when you are not comparing anything. Look: "And do Christmas wishes come true than birthday wishes?" Try using the comparative mode so that the sentence makes sense: more than birthday wishes. You hit it right when, in the next sentence, you said "nearer than". See, comparative works!

3.I firmly believe that it is necessary to remain consistent about your subject. See: Some of my birthday wishes did not come true or I doubt if it still will.

Some of my Wishes - plural
It - singular

It is better to use they and be nice than to use it and be naughty. Santa's gonna find out whose naughty or nice.

May all your wishes come true.

Cake Spelling 101: Arrest the Cake Decorator

from thegrammarvandal

There should be a law against it - destroying a little baby girl's coming-out party with wrong spelling. Every man or woman from four years onwards can spell GIRL, so I suppose a three-year old made this cake.

Eulogizing Your Father

Roy: a Hunk of A Son

Roy's love for his father
Don't you just love the blogs. In the past, people were limited to the tombstone as the medium to express their feelings for their dear departed. Now, you can pour your heart out by posting a eulogy in your website. I am not sure if there is a DSL connection in the afterlife, although people write eulogies not for the dead but for the living. (To communicate with the dead, please google Madam Auring)


I stole two paragraphs from Roy's blog and blogpesticided it.

"My Tatay wasn’t born into a life of comfort and access to even the most basic of things. From a young age, he had learned to work to provide for himself and his family. He finished school, graduated from college, became a Certified Public Accountant, earned his Masters in Business, and finally, became a lawyer, all by his own means. I often think that if only I’d possess half of his intellect and drive, I would, perhaps, be far more better than what I am now.

But in spite of these things he’s single-handedly achieved, he remained simple in his ways. He’d be more comfortable walking instead of driving, he’d be better off with his flip flops than wearing dress shoes and would rather stay home and fix things that don’t really need repairing. We somehow knew that what made him happier was seeing us experience all the things he never had the luxury of having. We weren’t rich, but my parents were able to provide us with all that we ever needed."

On the Grammar:

A eulogy is a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing. The word is derived from the Greek word εὐλογία (eulogia), meaning praise i.e. good word. But because the subject of a eulogy is a departed person, the tense is always simple past - not past progressive, unless one feels confident that the dead man will rise on the third day after his burial.

1. This is a common error when writing an adjectival phrase. Here, our blogger Roy describes the early life of his father as "wasn’t born into a life of comfort and access to even the most basic of things." The result becomes awkward because the last series of words are supposed to define life: a life of comfort (understandable) and a life of access to even the most basic of things (awkward). But if you drop the last phrase, the sentence becomes simple, clear and elegant. "My father was not born into a life of comfort."

2. Change from to at, as in, " At a young age", when portraying an incident that happened at a particular point in time. Use FROM when describing a range of time, as in, "From the age of ten up to his twenties, etc."

3. Finished school and graduated from college is a redundant phrase, as both refer to the same achievement. You can't say, "I did not finish school but I graduated from college." Unless, you refer to the Recto produced diploma.

4. State a wish in its present tense when describing a quality, in past tense when describing an act which you failed to do. "If only I possess half of his intellect and drive (qualities)", "If only I studied harder in school (act)."

5. When describing a dead person, use the past tense. It is also more elegant to use active voice: He preferred walking than driving, flip flops than dress shoes. He loved to stay home and fix things that didn’t really need repairing."

There is a certain sense of pride and guilt when sons talk about dead fathers. The pride always comes because of what the father achieved. Yet, there is also guilt for not measuring up to the standards set the old man.

Roy, you are your father's child. There is no need to measure up to what he had achieved because that was his own life, his own mission and his own source of meaning. Find your own.

Villar's Other Resignation Speech

"To my dear colleagues in this chamber:

The tenure of the Senate President as everyone knows, depends on the number of members that supports him. I was informed this afternoon I no longer have the support of the majority of my colleagues. I tender my resignation and congratulate the new senate president, Mr. Juan Ponce Enrile. I can only accomplish so much with your help and support... Thank you."

All right! You are a wily senator Manny, so I know that you know you gain a lot from this coup. Now, you get the sympathy of the people and you can posture yourself as the voice of the disenfranchized - neither administration nor opposition. Even then, there is something wrong with your sentence construction. So, let me rephrase your speech, put some good commas where needed, and make your exit speech more curt and elegant.
________________
"To my dear colleagues in this chamber:

The tenure of the Senate President, as everyone knows, depends on the number of members WHO support him. I was informed this afternoon that I lost the support of the majority of my colleagues. I tender my resignation and congratulate the new senate president, Mr. Juan Ponce Enrile. I can only accomplish so much with your help and support. Thank you."
______________

But apparently, there is another speech, but he opted not to read it.

To my dreadful colleagues in this chamber:

Fuck you!

Just because I am ahead in the surveys does not mean that I will win in the elections, so what the fuck are you afraid of? Do you think I will lose mileage by your NO Confidence Vote? And please, why would you pick Enrile as my successor? The best thing you could have done is to place someone younger and more good-looking to replace me. Like Sam Milby perhaps? Oh, he is not qualified?

Never mind. I would like to end this with what Barack Obama said during his acceptance speech.

Fuck you too!

Chronicling the Chronicles of E

Confessional writing as a literary form overtakes all other prose and poetry due to the blog environment. But this blog, the chronicles of e is a rare gem due to the fluidity of its narratives, the rawness of its emotional display, and the narrowness of its focus. He writes the way a druggist injects his dose: right to the point.



This new entry has as its parenthesis two time frames - juxtaposed for special effect and effective in bringing about the desired message of personal transformation. The texts in red are proofreading marks.

"Year 2002, 12:30am. I was inside my rented room in Manila. Reading a 3 -year- old Readers Digest I borrowed from my fuck buddy. I didn’t have anything inside my room except for tin foil, a box where I kept my crystal meth, a reconstructed lighter, and an ashtray I stole at SKINS bar (the straight bar in Malate). I didn’t have a bed, just a futon, 2 worn- out pillows my mom gave me, a blanket that smells like cum, and an electric fan. I didn’t have television or radio. I didn’t need them. I only went to my room to sleep or to smoke crystal. Most of the time, I was outside making money or crashing at a friends place."

(Grammar notes: If you compare this to the original, you will notice that I only made few corrections in the consistency of the tense and some punctuation changes.)

"2008, six years after that road trip. I came to realize that what we did to J was not only wrong, it was downright disrespectful. It wasn’t just because we took turns on him but because we didn’t respect his relationship with K. At that time, we know K was just playing him. We used him. He trusted us by letting us stay in their rest house. He gave us booze but we took advantage of him. We were young then.Sex was merely a handshake for us. I never saw J again. He was mentioned several times before but we just laughed about it. I don’t know what damage we caused him but now I know we fucked up. I’m sorry for what we did and now I’m paying the price. "

The movement from being aimless to self-directed; from disrespectful to regretful, from irresponsibility to responsible living; and from a junkie to a health-conscious person makes this post enthralling.

For the full text, visit his blog.

Loving A Sex Worker: Proofreading and Advice

This is an unsolicited proofreading and advice to hunterthehunter.blogspot.com who is in love with a masseur.

This is his text:


"I can’t help but get jealous over Mike’s guests at the spa also. Of course, what he has done to me the first time he handled my body massage, must have been done also to his other guests. Giving the best sensual massage, offering the extra service, giving out his cellphone number, and constant communication through text. Sometimes when we’re together, I could see him texting all the time, to his GF, or to his other guests. Makes me wonder, ILAN KAYA KAMI na boyfriend din nya?

I confronted Mike about this. He told me that I am the first and the only boyfriend that he has. Of course it is part of his job to text his guests so that they would come back for a massage, this is his means of living. Trabaho lang, walang personalan. I should accept for a fact also that Mike offers extra services, I’ve known this before we agreed to be in a relationship, so I should have been ready for the consequences. But was I ready? Or has this relationship made me emotionally weak?"

1. Although the use of "jealous over" seems passable and is widely used, the correct phrase is "jealous of" if the object of jealousy is a person or group of persons (Mike's clients). "Jealous over" is used if the object of the emotion is an non-person, e.g. jealous over nothing. The word also at the end of the first sentence can be dropped as it does not serve a purpose.

2. The phrase "first time he handled my body" puts the sentence in the past tense, so the verb should be DID rather than HAS DONE, i.e. "What he did to me the first time he handled my body". The whole phrase is actually the subject of the complex sentence, its predicate being: must have been done also to his other guests. This is a confusing sentence because it starts with "of course", which is a certainty, and proceeds to "must have been", which is a modal verb of probability - an uncertainty. If our jealous blogger is certain that Mike does the same thing to other clients, then it should read: Of course, what he did to me the first time he handled my body, he also does to all his other guests.

3. In the third highlighted sentence, our hurt blogger is now confused in the use of sometimes and all the time. Is Mike texting the whole time while they are together? Then he should drop the sometimes. But if not, then drop the all the time. If the blogger wants to exaggerate, as in "Wala na siyang ginagawa kundi magtext etc etc", then he should remove the "sometimes."

Now, let us talk about the emotions instead of the grammar. Certainly, you can't dictate your heart if it chooses to love a commercial sex worker. For all the euphemism, let us call him what he really is - he is a male prostitute. It will take a very understanding mind and a very generous heart to really brave the emotions that go with loving someone like him.

If you choose to love Mike, you are programming yourself to a heartache. His work and his lifestyle demand that he engages in activities that normally should be reserved to people engaged in a loving relationship.

By all means indulge in this experience, if it means the world to you. But please be gentle with your heart. It's the only one you've got.

Emotionally Sloppy; Maybe

I love emoblogs, particularly emotionally sloppy. With raw emotions and rantings, they write as if they paint their minds on paper - a series of words with minimal punctuation. In literature, we often refer to this style as streams of thoughts, separated by commas and ellipsis with no purpose at all except to fulfill the urge to place punctuations.

Here is an entry:


"I accompanied my friend to the hospital days ago to have her baby checked..as we were waiting, for like ages for her number to be called I entertained myself at looking around the hospital.

Just beside the pedia clinic was an infertility clinic. And there in that place, couples who has problems having a baby merge with the couples that were happily cradling their baby. How ironic. I mean why place these two clinics beside each other? To let the infertile couple realize what they're missing and feel more miserable than it already is? To have the fertile couple flaunt their baby to the infertile couple? Oh well, maybe they have a medical reason behind that."

Grammar aside, her observation is valid, and true to her being an emo, sensitive to her environment. Let me just improve the construction and the punctuations, so that the non-emo readers can make sense of her post. I hope I won't undermine her emotions.

Days ago (it is more efficient to introduce a temporal phrase at the start of the sentence), I accompanied my friend to the hospital for her baby's check-up. While waiting for, like, ages for her number to be called, I entertained myself by looking around.

Right beside the pedia clinic is a fertility clinic. Thus, in the same place, couples who had problems with having a baby merge with couples who were happily cradling their babies. (not unless all those couples cradled only ONE baby).

How ironic! I mean, why place these two clinics beside each other? To let the infertile couples realize what they're missing and feel more miserable than they already do?( It is better to be consistent with the subject of the conversation, in this sentence,the childless couples) To have the fertile couple flaunt their baby to the infertile couple?

Oh well, maybe the hospital has a medical reason behind this."


Maybe.

How To Give A Head

There is a way with blog headers that catches attention. The one above attracts because of the simplicity and fluidity of the title: hush.listen. And, of course, there is the matter of a penis peeping from the shadows.



How is this for etymology? So, that's where the phrase boy-next-door comes from? hehehe



I love the use of homonyms: wander and wonder. It sounds contrived but effective.



Don't you just love the ingenuity of substitution? How Cartesian, indeed.


Tsk, tsk. A little apostrophe will do the trick: It's time to change things.

Strong Biceps, Weak Sentence Construction

This is from outside lookin in .

The biceps look strong, but his sentence construction needs more exercises and some lifting. This entry is entitled The Secret Blog.



"I don't know... and these words are for the memories, fullness of my emotions and the disarming ways about you. The rest of this journal are nothing but fractions of how much I feel for you.

In case tomorrow the meaning of my promises are no longer the same; this blog will stand witness--that once a chance was given to the two of us... and everything I am was spent thinking, loving you.

God speed.

I am with you today as always even if the meaning of I love you tomorrow is not the same as today."


1. The ellipsis in the first sentence is out of place. Ellipsis (plural ellipses; from Greek ἔλλειψις "omission") indicates an intentional omission of a word or a phrase from the original text. An ellipsis can also be used to indicate a pause in speech, an unfinished thought or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis). Or maybe there is an omitted word, like SHIT (I don't know shit), in this case the ellipsis.... should remain.

2. Place a comma after emotions because it is part of a series: memories, fullness of my emotions, and the disarming ways about you.

3. The word tomorrow places the next sentence in the future tense, so it should be: "In case tomorrow the meaning of my promises WILL no longer BE the same, (comma not semi-colon)this blog will stand witness (again no need for ellipses) that once, a chance was given to us, and everything I am was spent thinking...loving you." There, just a few adjustments with the punctuations enhance the elegance of this brilliant composition.

4. The ending can stand on its own, even if it's a weak leg.

I love this blog because of the love messages. However, writing a love message requires careful construction, otherwise love might be lost in the midst of confusing punctuations.

Fuck The Rahm Emanuel Vocabulary

And because a poetic president needs a foul-mouthed enforcer to make sure the job gets done, a vocabulary lesson from White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel.

Washington, D.C. - “Fucknutsville”

Republican - “Knucklefuck”

What his mom fondly calls him - “little shithead”

How he ends phone calls to donors and candidates - “Fuck you. I love you.”

His message to the Republicans after the Democrats took back the House in 2006: “Since my kids are gone, I can say it. They can go fuck themselves!”

source: jessicarulestheuniverse.com

Welcome to the Second Semester

from grammarvandal

President NOLI?

Grammar is Correct; the Results are Sad

from Philippine Star

Vice President Noli de Castro has remained the top choice of Filipinos to succeed President Arroyo in 2010, a recent survey by the Social Weather Stations (SWS) showed.

De Castro’s latest score, however, dropped by two percentage points from 31 percent in June to 29 percent in September, the SWS said.

Senate President Manuel Villar came in second with 28 percent, followed by Sen. Loren Legarda with 26 percent, according to the Third Quarter 2008 Social Weather Survey.

Sen. Panfilo Lacson was fourth with 17 percent, followed by Sen. Francis Escudero (16 percent), former President Joseph Estrada (13 percent) and Sen. Manuel Roxas (13 percent).

Mrs. Arroyo was the choice of one percent of the respondents along with Metro Manila Development Authority Chairman Bayani Fernando, Senators Antonio Trillanes IV, Juan Ponce Enrile, Francis Pangilinan, Miriam Defensor-Santiago, Richard Gordon, Jinggoy Estrada, Jamby Madrigal and Pia Cayetano, and former House speaker Jose de Venecia Jr.

A heartbreak is not an excuse for wrong grammar.

Even if he is nursing a wounded heart after his break-up from Karylle, Dingdong Dantes must not be excused from lousy sentence constructions:

"We did try hard to iron things out and save our relationship but it didn’t work out.”

1. The sudden shift from the subject WE to IT confuses the mind, considering that there were two things they tried: 1. ) iron thing out AND 2) save our relationship. Dingdong has another option (aside from Marianne) and that is to retain the subject WE.

"We did try hard to iron things out and save our relationship, but we failed."

2. While technically correct, the use of compound and split infinitives (to iron THINGS out, to save) does not result to an elegant construction. God knows, when you are heartbroken, you should remain elegant. This elegance can be achieved by being simple and specific, as opposed to being complex and generic.

"We tried hard to iron out our differences in order to save our relationship, but we failed." (Simpler. Clearer. Although with Marianne around, doubtful)

Obama: A Portrait of Victory, A Study in Eloquence

Victory Speech:

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

"It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

"It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

alledgedly? Richard and Aljur

STARMOMETER scoops on the Richard-Aljur incident, but forgets correct spelling and right grammar.

1. "Right after the news came out about the alledgedly near-fight between Kapuso stars Richard Gutierrez and Aljur Abrenica at the Fiamma bar last October 17, Richard’s camp sent PEP a statement disproving the report."

a. drop the d and the ly - the correct term is alleged. The term near-fight acts as a NOUN, thus the word describing it should be an adjective (alleged), not an adverb (allegedly).

2. “Unfortunately, however, a star like Mr. Aljur Abrenica, an acquaintance, does not seem to understand that stars need space too, and barging in on our table unexpectedly, sitting down uninvited, and partaking of the drinks freely, does not speak well of a person’s social graces."

(quoted from Richard camp's text message to PEP)

For all the money he earns, Richard can't afford to hire a decent writer. In an attempt to create a compound-complex sentence, the writer loses perspective. The second independent clause uses gerund as subjects: barging in, sitting down and partaking of. Hence, the subject being plural, the verb should be DO not speak well....

Barging in means intruding rudely. To barge in unexpectedly is clearly redundant, because intrusion by its nature is always unexpected. You don't say to your mother, "Mom, we are expecting an intruder tonight, so please prepare."

Lastly, it is best to be consistent when using parallels: barging in UNEXPECTEDLY, sitting down UNINVITED (?) and partaking FREELY; two adverbs and one adjective - not consistent.

Polaris: definition of terms

Polaris - Po·lar·is /poʊˈlɛərɪs, -ˈlær-, pə-/

–noun
1. Astronomy. the polestar or North Star, a star of the second magnitude situated close to the north pole of the heavens, in the constellation Ursa Minor: the outermost star in the handle of the Little Dipper.

Beach - [beech]

–noun

1.	an expanse of sand or pebbles along a shore.

2.	the part of the shore of an ocean, sea, large river, lake, etc., washed by the tide or waves.

3.	the area adjacent to a seashore:

House - [n., adj. hous; v. houz]
–noun

1.	a building in which people live; residence for human beings.

Polaris Beach House
- proper noun

1. the best resort in Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte

2. the ultimate vacation experience

nice epitaphs for the halloween

Miranda Priestly's Epitaph:

That's all!

(Ann Mann died an old maid)

Here lies Ann Mann,

Who lived an old maid

But died an old Mann.

December 8, 1767

London, England

Epitaph of an atheist

Here lies

an Atheist

All dressed up

And no place to go.

Thurmont, Maryland

Epitaph/Ad

Here Lies Jane Smith

Wife of Thomas Smith

Marble Cutter:

This Monument Erected

By Her Husband

As A Tribute

To Her Memory.

Monuments of this style

are 250 Dollars.

Annapolis

Jonathan Blake died of a vehicular accident

Here lies the body

of Jonathan Blake.

Stepped on the gas

Instead of the brake.

Uniontown, PA.

nice bod, wrong invite...hehehe

What about this online greeting card?


Happy Birthday of You
Happy Birthday of You

"be simply human....NEED ME? FRIEND WITH ME"

"I'm single yet confuse — Manila"

looks: excellent; grammar: careless

This is from one of my idols online. (picture was taken without permission)

"I sat down and interviewed famed male model Akihiro Sato on the set of his first movie, Handumanan today. He, along with actress/animal rights activist Chin-Chin Gutierrez, Jason Abalos and Carlo Maceda are in Dumaguete to shoot the film that is set here."

If one is naughty (like me), one is bound to imagine different scenarios after reading the first sentence. Did the author sat on the lap of Aki? Was he sitting down while Aki was standing up or strutting his stuff? I think Mark ( one of the most good-looking fellows in the blogworld) wanted to say he sat down with and interviewed etc.

The lack of comma after Handumanan leads me to assume that the title of the movie is Handumanan Today.

The error in the second statement is usually due to carelessness. Phrases such as together with, as well as, and along with are not the same as and. The phrase introduced by as well as or along with will modify the earlier word, but it does not compound the subjects (as the word and would do). So it should be: He, along with actress.....and Carlo Maceda, is in Dumaguete.


But then again, maybe our blogger Mark felt careless after talking to Aki and forgot his basic grammar? Hmmm.

a funny signage and two haikus

For the record, his services were much better than his grammar!

Two of my favorite bloggers posted haikus:

1. This is from justdrinkmilk:

Infatuated
yet totally one-sided.
Story of my life.

A haiku is best appreciated in its oral form when the measured rhythm becomes an auditory delight. The beauty of this haiku is in its composition, although it maintains the blogger's emotional landscape: desolate and depressing. The piece then goes against the tide since most haikus are celebrations of nature's beauty and bounty.

In its written form, the full stop in the second line is out of place. Maybe a colon will do the trick?

2. And from tristan:

The future looks bright

But, there is no guarantee.

Hoping for the best.

This one moves half a step away from desolation and faces the future with uncertainty. This is not as skillfully crafted as the first one, but the emotions are more fluid. The comma in the second line is unnecessary.

Walang Kawala premiered: strong film; weak sentence

from manilagayguy

"Walang Kawala is going to be premiered at the UP Film Institute on November 6. Tickets at 100 pesos available at the cinema booth on the day just before the showing time (7pm)."

1. The use of "is going to be premiered" is a confusing construction that can be avoided by the use of a future tense. "Walang Kawala will premiere at the UP Film Institute." Easier, right?

2. The second sentence can bemuse and bewilder even the most intelligent mind. Are tickets available on the day itself? Are tickets available the day just before showing time? If it's the former, then it will be wiser to a) simplify the sentence or b) you some punctuation:

a. Tickets at 100 pesos are available at the cinema booth just before showtime.

b. Tickets at 100 pesos are available at the cinema booth on the day itself, just before showtime.



"

Naked in Pagudpud, thinking about dona victorina

I don't have plans of posting anything in my blog this week. After all, I am in Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte at the Saud Beach Resort. I am here to rest and recreate myself. But I was reading Amiel's comment section where people responded to my comment about dog-eating.

So, despite the fact that I am terribly drunk, here is my response:

okay, since I brought it up...


No, there is no special resolution exempting Vigan from the animal welfare act. Exceptions are only allowed in areas defined as ancestral domains. The problem with environmental laws and animal rights is that they do not take priority in terms of law enforcement. I swear to god I saw several policemen lining up to eat in those dog- specialty eateries in Vigan, but nobody seems to care.

I come from an Igorot ancestry, so I should know that not all Cordillerans eat dogs. In the time of my forefathers, eating the dog of a fallen headhunter or warrior was part of the ritual to honor the dead. Most of the tribal warriors had dogs to accompany the hunt, and when the dog's master died, it was assumed that the spirit of the dog went with the master, so the dog was eaten as pure flesh.

My people were food gatherers, and yes, some tribes like the Ibaloi and Kankanaey have found eating dogs helpful during the very cold months because of the heat it gives to the hunters' body. Remember we wear g-strings? In the middle of a pine forest in the cold winds of December, the frost sometimes kill the weak?

It's not only the primitive faith of my people, it was also a survival mechanism that dog-eating became part of the culture.

Trust me on this, slowly my people are educating each other, and they have moved away from practices that dehumanize our culture, and damage the environment.

Tonight, I am naked here in Pagudpud, alone in the beach. I don't have a problem with that, nudity is the norm in my tribe. But certainly, we have learned to wear decent clothes when we the situation calls for it.

We have moved away from g-strings, we can move away from dog-eating. Give us some time.

Remembering Those Who Died of Wrong Grammar

1. Stella Strada

She was a boldstar who rose to fame in such movies as Kirot and Puri.

Her suicide note said:

THIS IS A CRAZY PLANETS

May she rest in pieces!

_____________________________

Incidentally, during the New Year's presentation of See True:

Inday Badiday: O sige ano na ang inyong prediction para kay Stella Strada.
Madam Auring: Lalo siyang sisikat sa darating na taon at malalampasan niya ang kasikatan ni Alma Moreno!

The next day's headline: STELLA STRADA COMMITS SUICIDE!

Prophecy fulfilled!
***

Cristy Fermin is really an error: the person and the grammar

Finally, the news that all humans have been waiting for. I welcome the news from pinoycelebritybuzz.com about Cristy's suspension. I just hate the wrong grammar.

Here's part of the blog:

"She is suspended as host from ABS-CBN’s “The Buzz” and as anchorperson from DZMM’s “Showbiz Mismo” until December 31, 2008.

ABS-CBN also said that Cristy Fermin violates the company’s high standard of professionalism and integrity in journalism which is detrimental not only to her name and credibility but also that of “The Buzz” and ABS-CBN."

1. You don't host FROM a particular show, you are host OF a show. So, Cristy Fermin is suspended as host of ABS-CBN's "The Buzz" and as anchorperson OF DZMM's etc etc.

2. That is a wicked, dangling dependent clause you got in there. What you are saying is that the integrity in journalism is detrimental to Cristy and the TV station. How so? Just divide the confusing statement into two:

ABS-CBN also said that Cristy Fermin violates the company’s high standard of professionalism and integrity in journalism. Such a violation is detrimental not only to her name and credibility but also that of “The Buzz” and ABS-CBN.

And while we are at it, I have two objections:

a. I object to the insinuation that Cristy Fermin had credibility prior to the violation.

b. I object to the term of the suspension. Why not extend her suspension until December 31, 2220.

Brian's Blog; Requiem for a Revenge

(Every Monday, I focus on the effects of blogs and blogging. Just for the heck of it)

Fifteen minutes is up for Brian Gorrel's blog.

Perhaps the loyal Team Brian still keeps the statistics going, but by the comment section alone , we know it has lost a significant percentage of its readership. Let us do some initial body count and assess the extent to which his blog has achieved its purpose. Although, Brian himself wrote that his reasons have evolved and have gone beyond the 70,000 target.

Some Uplinks:

a. Well, it seems he has moved on. That should be attributed to the blog. He found a lot of allies and supporters who helped rebuild his confidence. By this alone, the blog is a resounding success.
b. For a month, he made a case about the potential power of blogging as a platform to put across your message. Hundreds of college seniors owe much gratitude to Brian for giving them a thesis topic.
c. He created a circle of support and gained valuable friendships because of the blog. He is his own social networking site.
d. Filipinos were given a face of an HIV positive man and were granted entry into his colorful life. Before Brian, we knew of men and women who died from HIV complications, but mostly we heard about how they died. Now, we know how they live.
e. Some blogs became famous because of their link to Brian's blog. I wouldn't have heard about Dona Victorina and Misterhubs, if not for Brian.

Some downlinks:

a. The 70,000 has not been returned. DJ Montano did not give-in to the social pressure and until now remains free, perhaps planning for his return ala-Gabby Concepcion.
b. The very people whom Brian wanted to hurt by damaging their egos and their reputation bounced back with glee. They have become so famous that they increased their market value. Tim Yap and Celine Lopez used to define their sphere of influence within the elite and social climbing class. They should cut Brian some check, now that they are well-known all over the country.
c. We became aware of the downside of internet information - it creates news but it doesn't change lives. We cannot commit to the cause of someone we just read about. Too impersonal. Our best response was a few lines in the comment section. Then we move on to other blogs.

Brian Gorrel went the way of other whistle -blowers like Jun Lozada (remember him, the crying man?). We listened to them. We paid attention for a while. We echoed their sentiments. We created noise. We patted their backs, and sent them down the road.

Brian mirrors to us a face so familiar we hardly care anymore - the made-up face of a corrupt Philippines. Truth is, I am bored with Brian. He had become the male incarnation of Miriam Santiago - fun at first, feisty when fighting - until I realized he is saying the same thing again and again. He mouths slogans without deep analysis. He is like Sarah Palin - he knows how to attack without knowing the enemy or the logic of the war.

But that is because I expected his blog to be a political platform. It isn't. It's a personal blog. No more. No less.

You have to be Brian's friend to appreciate his blog. Because he does not have the humor of Misterhubs, the analysis of Dona Victorina, the elan of BryanBoy, the charisma of Docmcfitch, the expansiveness of ageage, or even the style of gibbscadiz.

He is simply Brian, who blogs.

Too much sucking is good!

It's Sunday. So I will focus on an entry which impressed me both for its construction and its style.

This is from justdrinkmilk:

"What do you do when it sucks to be you?

It sucks that I am unworthy to receive what is given to me. And even if I am worthy, it sucks that I may not be ready to receive what is given to me. It sucks that I am even whining over what could be somebody else’s dream. And for that, the more I feel unworthy. I do not deserve all these. It may seem that I am ungrateful but I am not. I am grateful and I appreciate it… truly.

It sucks that what I want may not be deserving of what I want to give. And even if he is worth it, it sucks that I am settling for something less than what I deserve. I am more than a third of that you can give. It sucks that at one point I considered it. It sucks that I suck at the game I tried to play; the game that I continue to play.

It sucks that I may never get the chance to walk this path again but I cannot seem to make my feet stop. It sucks that this may be the start of what I have been waiting for but I cannot seem to figure out what to do first. It sucks that I do not know what to do."

Literal sucking aside, this article illustrates four figures of speech seldom used by writers, and mostly never used by bloggers.

1. Anaphora - Repetition of the same word or phrase at the start of successive clauses or sentences. In the excerpt above, the phrase "it sucks" is repeated ten times, quite successfully. Whoever is It, It's mouth must be sore after doing all that sucking (lame joke, I know but I can't help it.) Watch the anaphoric triple shot: . It sucks that I suck at the game I tried to play; the game that I continue to play. Love it. I know a lot of bloggers who are good in sucking, but can they write stuff like this?

2. Metaphor - An implied comparison between two unlike things that actually have something important in common. Bloggers are fond of using metaphor (minitapor at minitapor niya po ako..), but most of them cannot manage to be consistent. Watch: "walk this path again but I cannot seem to make my feet stop" See the consistency - walk, path, feet!

3. Epexegesis - Adding words, phrases or sentences to further clarify or specify a statement already made. Here is his statement: It may seem that I am ungrateful but I am not. I am grateful and I appreciate it… truly.


4. Bdelygmia A litany of abuse--a series of critical epithets, descriptions, or attributes. In a sense, the whole sucking is litany is self-abusive, an attack on his own unworthiness.

Now all I need to do is to kiss this guy - no need for figures of speech.

Of irresponsible sex and grammar

I love this exchange between a blogger and his reader about House Bill 5043.

Bryan Miseducated's logic is flawless, but his sentence construction needs a bit of a makeover - maybe a few misplaced pronouns and missing punctuations.

Here's part of the post (the numbers and the red highlights are mine):

"While it’s unlikely that a horny daughter would bother mom about (1) her daytime itch let’s just say for the sake of argumentation that (2)my bitch of a daughter (3) comes to me and ask for a pill, I would hurriedly grab my D&G tote and the car key to visit the closest clinic and afterwards drive straight to a ravine… stupid momma, slut daughter, pill, dysfunction and all.

Come on, the case mentioned by Mr. Raymond has nothing to do (4) with lawmaking than it is an eventuality of failed parenting. You can’t say that Bill 5043 will turn daughters into whores. Hello…kitty! What our SECULAR government is (5) trying to do is address all options impartial to any moral paradigm.

P.S. (6) Last time I checked the Philippines is still a republic not a papal state."

1. It is as common as teenage pregnancy - the case of confusing pronouns. Whose daytime itch is referred to, the mother's or the daughter's?

2. Although it is understandable because the writing follows a style of free stream of thoughts, or commonly called as babbling, still the prose can still be improved by not shifting the point of view mid-sentence. It is better to divide it into two separate ideas:

It’s unlikely that a horny daughter would bother her mom about daytime itch. However, for the sake of argument, let's just say that if my bitch of a daughter comes to me and asks for a pill, I would hurriedly grab my D&G tote and the car key to visit the closest clinic, and afterwards drive straight to a ravine… stupid momma, slut daughter, pill, dysfunction, and all.

May I suggest that you leave the D&G behind?

3. Just like the Church, there is an inconsistency in the tenses of the verb: my daughter comes to me and ASKS...

4. The blogger was able to drive home the point that while Mr Raymund is a strong believer, he is a bad debater - his logic just went down the drain. But still, a good argument needs a good sentence construction.

"has nothing to do with lawmaking than WITH failed parenting.

Just a few minor things:

5. trying to do is TO address...

6. Last time I checked, the Philippines is still a republic not a papal state.

Maybe it is.